The way we speak to ourselves—our self-talk—can have a powerful impact on how we think, feel, and behave. While we often focus on how others treat us, we sometimes forget that our internal dialogue is just as important, if not more so, in shaping our mental health and confidence.
What Is Self-Talk?
Self-talk is the stream of thoughts running through your mind throughout the day. It includes everything from planning and problem-solving to self-judgment and emotional reflection. It can be positive (“I can handle this”) or negative (“I always mess things up”).
Many of us are so used to our inner critic that we barely notice its presence. But studies show that persistent negative self-talk can contribute to anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression. On the other hand, learning to engage in more compassionate, constructive self-talk can boost resilience, motivation, and emotional well-being.
Rewriting the Script
Changing your self-talk doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect. It means becoming aware of your thoughts and intentionally choosing ones that are helpful rather than harmful.
Start by noticing patterns. Do you tend to blame yourself when things go wrong? Do you use extreme language like “always” or “never”? Once you catch a negative thought, try reframing it. Instead of thinking, “I’m terrible at this,” try, “I’m still learning, and that’s okay.”
Practicing self-compassion is key. Ask yourself: Would I say this to a friend going through the same thing? If not, then you shouldn’t say it to yourself either.
Small Changes, Big Results
Even small shifts in how you speak to yourself can lead to meaningful change. Repeating simple affirmations like “I am doing my best” or “I am enough” may feel strange at first, but over time, they can reshape your mindset.
Journaling is another powerful tool—writing out your thoughts helps you identify recurring patterns and separate facts from feelings. Mindfulness and meditation also help create space between you and your inner voice, giving you more control over your reactions.
Final Thoughts
Your inner voice is always with you—make it your ally, not your enemy. By practicing more supportive self-talk, you’ll not only improve your mental health but also build a more confident, resilient version of yourself. It all starts with what you say when you’re talking to you.
